Whose Beauty Are We Celebrating? Decolonizing Beauty

Last night, I was captivated by Sasha Kutabah Sarago's TED Talk, where she spoke passionately about the hidden yet powerful ways colonialism still shapes our perception of beauty today. You know that moment when something hits you and suddenly you see your whole life differently? That's what happened when she shared her story of being told, "You're too pretty to be Aboriginal." In that single phrase, centuries of colonial thinking were laid bare – this idea that beauty and indigeneity somehow couldn't exist together.

I bet you've felt something similar at some point. Maybe you've looked in the mirror and wondered why you don't look like the people in magazines. Maybe your kids or younger siblings come home questioning features that connect them to their heritage. Perhaps you've spent years trying to change things about yourself that were actually beautiful all along.

So what exactly are "colonial beauty standards" anyway? They're these unspoken rules about what's considered beautiful that come from European colonization – like fair skin, straight hair, thin bodies, and certain facial features. They're not just random preferences. They're the voice in your head saying, "My nose is too wide," "My hair is too curly," or "My skin is too dark." Decolonizing beauty? That's about taking back the power to decide what's beautiful on our own terms – reclaiming our right to see beauty in ourselves precisely as we are.

The History They Never Put in Our Textbooks

Here's the wild thing nobody really talks about at the dinner table or in school hallways: these beauty standards didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were literally exported alongside European guns and flags.

When European powers colonized territories across Africa, Asia, the Americas, and beyond, they did something really clever and really cruel. They didn't just take land and resources—they got inside people's heads. They convinced the colonized that European features were inherently more beautiful, more civilized, and more worthy.

In India, British colonizers actively promoted skin-lightening while dismissing traditional adornments as "primitive." In many African countries, Indigenous hairstyles were actually banned in schools and workplaces—labeled "unprofessional" or "uncivilized." Can you imagine being told your natural hair was against the rules? Kids today still face this in some places. In East Asia, Western beauty influences led to surgeries becoming popular to create features that looked more European.

These weren't just shallow preferences about looks – they were psychological tools designed to make colonized people feel less than in their natural state. The message was clear: to be beautiful, successful, or even just acceptable, you needed to look less like yourself and more like your colonizers.

Living With It Every Single Day

Here's where it gets personal. These aren't just historical issues or academic concepts. They follow us everywhere – from TikTok to Target, from middle school cafeterias to office parties.

The mental and emotional toll is huge. I mean, who hasn't felt that twinge of "not enough" when bombarded with images of "perfect" people who look nothing like you or your family? It's especially hard when you're 13 and trying to figure out who you are or when you're over 50 and society starts making you feel invisible.

And it's particularly painful when these standards create rifts between generations – when grandkids can't understand why their grandmother's traditional beauty practices matter or when parents can't relate to their teenagers' struggles with beauty standards that keep shifting under their feet.

When Different Parts of Who You Are Collide

OK, here's something we need to get real about: while these beauty standards mess with everyone, they don't mess with everyone equally. It's like playing a video game where some players get set to "extreme difficulty" from the start.

If you're a Black girl or woman, you're not just dealing with general appearance pressure but also with deeply entrenched ideas about your skin tone, facial features, and hair. Remember when a major magazine photoshopped Lupita Nyong'o's natural hair to make it look more "polished"? That wasn't just a photo edit – it was colonial thinking alive and well in 2021.

If you're an Indigenous teen, you're navigating both typical middle school appearance stress AND the erasure of your culture's traditional ideas about beauty. If you're plus-sized, disabled, or trans, you're dealing with beauty standards that often don't even acknowledge your existence, let alone celebrate you.

Your family's income matters too – some people can afford products or procedures to help them fit these standards better. Where you live affects which standards hit you hardest. Your cultural background influences how much pressure you feel to assimilate. It's this whole complicated web that changes depending on who you are and where you stand.

That Mirror Moment: What Are We Really Seeing?

Try something with me: Next time you look in the mirror and automatically think something negative about yourself, hit pause. Ask yourself: "Wait, where did I learn that this part of me isn't good enough?"

Did you actually decide on your own that your body type isn't cool, or was that message fed to you through thousands of carefully selected images? Did you naturally think your skin should be lighter/darker/clearer, or did someone suggest that to you when you were too young to question it?

Most of us – whether we're teenagers or grandparents – never actually chose our beauty standards. They were handed to us through dolls with impossible proportions, through off-hand comments from relatives ("You'd be so pretty if you just..."), through movies starring people who all look the same, and through beauty products marketed as "solutions" to our natural features. Recognizing this isn't about feeling bad – it's about taking back the power to decide what beauty means for ourselves.

  Beauty Revolution

Decolonizing your relationship with beauty isn't something that happens overnight. Here are some doable starting points:

Mix up your social media! Follow creators who look nothing like conventional beauty ideals. It's incredible how quickly your idea of "normal" shifts when you see diverse beauty celebrated regularly.

Catch yourself in the act. When you compliment someone, what are you praising? Instead of "You look great, did you lose weight?" try "You look so happy today – your energy is contagious!"

Talk about this stuff with people you love. Ask your grandparents what was considered beautiful when they were young. Talk to kids about how beauty standards have been used to control people. Breaking the silence removes a lot of the power these standards hold.

The Stuff We've Been Missing Out On

While colonial standards were busy trying to make everyone look the same, incredibly diverse beauty traditions have existed all along. In parts of West Africa, fuller figures have traditionally been celebrated.

Many Indigenous cultures see facial tattoos and body modifications as marks of achievement. In parts of South Asia, hands adorned with intricate henna designs are considered beautiful regardless of shape or size.

What's amazing about these diverse traditions is something colonial beauty standards totally lack: beauty that reflects what a culture values rather than a rigid checklist. Beauty that celebrates all life stages rather than trying to freeze youth forever. Beauty that connects us to our communities rather than sets us against each other.

 Forward 

I hope this conversation leaves you fired up to question beauty standards in your everyday life. Whether you're a teenager just starting to form your identity or someone with decades of life experience – your beauty rebellion matters.

Each time we appreciate diverse beauty, interrupt a negative comment about someone's natural features or celebrate cultural styles instead of pressuring people to assimilate, we're helping heal wounds that go back generations.

This isn't just about feeling better in the mirror—though that's huge too! It's about creating a world where no kid grows up believing their natural features make them less worthy of love. It's about honoring our ancestors who were told their beauty traditions weren't good enough.

As Sarago reminded her audience: "True beauty has never been about fitting some single ideal. It has always been about authentically

expressing who we are, in all our cultural richness and human diversity."

In reclaiming that truth, we reclaim not just our beauty but our full right to be exactly who we are. And isn't that what we all want – whether we're 13, 50, or any age at all?

By Sypharany.